Rational Action

A girl named Jesse who lived two floors below me was found yesterday dead in her Furnald single.

She wore colored contacts. I had met her, and we had exchanged a few words. I remembered her colored contacts. She was nice.

Umm.

She was the only person I knew on the seventh floor. I’m not really sure how to take this. I think we rode the elevator together a few times…

I talked to Kate about it after my radio show — at 6:30am early this morning. She showed me a LiveJournal posting by the person who got worried and made her RA open the door. Reading the post disturbed the hell out of me and I didn’t fall asleep for a while.

Umm.

You’re not supposed to die of natural causes at 18. I think 18 year olds feel this way especially because, well, we don’t want to die. So when we said we thought it might be a suicide, maybe the more accurate saying would have been “we hope it’s a suicide.” Because if it’s a suicide, then we only suffer the same fate if we choose suicide ourselves too. Nobody chooses to die by natural causes…

My brother heard about it on the news and told Mom, and she called me. She told me that the girl probably had a heart condition or something. She was trying to comfort me. We were searching for reasons why what happened to Jesse couldn’t happen to us. But everyone dies…

Umm. I was afraid to fall asleep…